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Greatest Hits

by Dirty Melissa

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1.
Have you seen my Mongoose? Seems it got loose Matchbox car Have you seen my Mongoose? Last time I saw it it was in a box of baseball cards Have you seen my Mongoose? Have you seen my Mongoose? Oh! It seems it got loose Can't find it anywhere My matchbox car Is lost I swear! Last time I saw it Was in a box of baseball cards Have you seen my Mongoose? Have you seen my Mongoose?
2.
I dont wanna be afraid I don't wanna die this way I always thought I had a choice I always thought I had a voice to say That I don't wanna have a fight Stand with what is just and right today I don't wanna die because you stand just 5 feet high, no way All my life I feared the worst I always knew that they'd strike first I just want to live my life My family, friends, my pets my wife, my scene I know I've been an average man I've done my best to be a human being I've been aggressive, I've been bad I've punched a few and had my clock cleaned But I don't wanna die because You have a tiny tool and you are mean All my life I feared the worst I always knew that they'd strike first Sudden death is possible If missiles hit my vicinity But worrying about the end Will surely be much worse for me So I won't suffer anymore I'll stay put and certainly won't flee Because I'm happy, did my best And your war has nothing to do with me All my life I feared the worst I always knew that they'd strike first
3.
Wanoi 02:49
So lookie here I don't feel a thing I took my roadkill denial skills and now I look the other way as 1500 people die everyday I'm cool with vaccine, therapy but I see suffering but I don't fear Die, don't feel a thing I see healthcare workers burning out but I don't feel a thing anymore At first I was so excited But now I'm bored Worried Afraid Numb Over It I don't care I don't care I don't care I don't care I don't care I don't feel a fucking thing you say 'fuck my feelings?' I don't have any feelings left for you to fuck and I don't care, I say I care but I dont care, nobody cares anyway advice form the dead Worried Afraid Numb Over It
4.
Listen how people use the word FAT you can learn a lot about a person at the laundromat Listen how people use the word SCORE you can learn a lot about a person at the grocery store Listen how people use the word COP you can learn a lot about a person at a 4 way stop Don't you ever wonder when a man survives two plane crashes if he's causing plane crashes or is it coincidence? Violet Jessop sinks ships Listen how people use the word YOU you can learn a lot about a man by how he acts at the zoo Listen how people use the word CHEAT you can learn a lot about a person by what they eat Listen how people use the word SHAME you can learn a lot about a person by who they blame Do you think when a woman is widowed twice that she might be killing these guys or is it happenstance?
5.
Vaxene Vaxene Vaxene I need a shot You know what I mean Immunize me, Vaxene She's the one the one I need She's the one who will save me She's the nurse who loves me She gives me the vaccine She's the one I need Vaxene Vaxene Vaxene I need a cure You know what I mean Make this fear go away Vaxene She's the one the one I need She's the one who will save me She's the nurse who loves me She gives me the vaccine She's the one I need She's the one Vaxene Vaxene Vaxene Vaxene I need a cure you know what I mean Vaxene
6.
Freedom of speech ain't pretty it's downright ugly and the truth? Forget about it for the love of individualism my friends please stop sharing memes there's a whole lot of you bloviating on all sides argumentative mother fuckers Fuck the space force we need peace and race force Jobs are up; recouped from April losses If you go back to work you're just reporting to your bosses that is not job creation it's going back to the job to the job Fire the US attorney, why not? A bad workman always blames his tools What is Godwin's law for trump? Hobbesian bellum omnium contra omnes ...don't hear that every day Radioactive isotopes are coursing through my veins Covid cases are spiking so let's open up Let's open up Gemini
7.
In Your Arms 02:17
My life is what nature gave me Thanks mom and dad for getting it on I'm glad I'm here although there were times I wish I'd never been born at all I will walk I won't fall I will dream I won't stall I'm doing well although I worry about stuff Sometimes I get upset but then I've had enough I reset and everything is wonderful and fine Basking in the glow of eternal sunshine I will fly I won't die I'll live forever In your arms
8.
I'm crazy in love with you I drink you and your bubbles too I feel the ph balance in my blood it rushes over my mind in a hundred year a flood I like mongolian beef with white onions I like my sauce MSG and hoisining I think I've had too much for one lifetime I have aluminium poisoning I have aluminium poisoning aluminium poisoning I have aluminium poisoning one can at a time I think I have to give you a rest I'm tired and forgetting what I last said Last night before I went to bed How did I end up in this bed? I have aluminium poisoning aluminium poisoning I have aluminium poisoning one can at a time
9.
Tie 03:39
I've got stained glass on my wall representing all four seasons I've got white socks in a bag on my piano and hanging in my closet I've got ties with stains on them that I'll never wear (and I don't care) Light switch sun and moon The moon's winking at me My work is done here I've made up my mind I finally feel like I'm not falling behind My work is done here And I'm alright I already have a favorite dish A favorite band and a favorite fish There's no changing that I want to change The idea of something new seems so strange I will likely die before I ever buy a tie again And that's okay My work is done here I've made up my mind I finally feel like I'm not falling behind My work here is done And I'm alright My work is done And i'M okay I've made up my mind I finally feel like I'm not falling behind I've made up my mind I've made up my mind There's no changing that I want to change The idea of something NEW seems so strange I will likely die before I ever buy a tie again And that's okay
10.
Cardamom 02:08
Hooray ooh ray Hooray ooh ray Hooray ooh ray Hooray ooh ray Sun is out today Bamboo leaves are flat they no longer look like cigarettes the gardens growing a beet and the rats are hey hey! hooray ooh ray! The weather's changing Autumn in the sky sky is blue and I feel so good inside Halloween approaching Autumn is my favorite ti-eee-ime Hooray ooh ray Hooray ooh ray Hooray ooh ray I went to the kitchen and grabbed some leftover soup Microwaved a cup of cardamom coffee It was sad, it wanted me I wanted it we got back together I drank it!!! The sky is blue The bamboo leaves are flat they're no longer round like cigarettes and the rats in my yard ate my garden that's fine, it's nature That's alright Halloween is coming! Yeah! Hooray ooh ray Hooray ooh ray Hooray ooh ray Hooray ooh ray
11.
Pansy so delicate your name is spoken in vein derogatory fame Soft and weak You're nothing like cactus hibiscus or oleander And then the winter came and everything dried up and died leaves fell from the trees the Hibiscus cried The flowers fell from the highway divide The cactus shriveled up inside Who was left after the freeze under the bamboo and budding trees wasn't the rose or the mighty sunflower It was the soft little weakling without any power The Pansy drowned but never died The Pansy blossomed and survived You're welcome to use my name in vein Because you're all dead an I'm the same mighty pansy
12.
There's this town I know It's where I've seen A lot of kindness hopes and dreams In Jesus name Amen! Where women and their men Live happily and free In Jesus name Amen Free from all of "THEM" I go there every now and then The scenery is beautiful (stay away from "THEM") The green in summer the colors of autumn They're out everyday Except for school on Sunday When I get hungry I want some Chik-fil-a but they are closed on Sunday for school on Sunday This new world order is closed on Sundays Play dumb and watch ball on Funday It's our chance to escape and run away Cuz racism and hate recharge on Sunday In the name of God God they say It's our chance to escape and run away This new world is closed on Sundays Except for school, school on Sundays Play dumb and watch ball on Sunday It's our chance to escape and run away Because racism and hate recharge on Sunday racism and hate recharge on Sunday In Jesus name Amen! Live happily and free from "THEM" Free from "THEM" All men are created equal... ...except "THEM"
13.
Magistrate 02:37
We exchanged turkey sandwiches and painted random cinder block bricks on dorm room walls It wasn't too long before we decided to get married and move away from these halls Did I want a wedding back home or did I just want to be hitched That's where I first saw the magistrate Captured the marriage on video tape Dressed up in my blues And she was waiting there with a fancy white dress and flowers in her hair Cold and white outside the courthouse That's where I first saw the magistrate I played back the tape And she was awesome In her tie & long black gown I was nervous and it was darling and cute and we were kind of funny and I kind of liked what was going down what I saw and what she did And what I saw what she said and how it worked .... That's where I first saw the magistrate Captured the marriage on video tape Dressed up in my blues And she was waiting there with a fancy white dress and flowers in her hair cold and white outside the courthouse That's where I first saw the magistrate first saw the magistrate first saw the magistrate The consummate and quintessential Authority and professional I wonder what lucky guy would consummate the magistrate I wondered if I could ever become
14.
Spaceman 03:00
Born from good baseball stock Hollywood Stars And his aunt was a pitcher Leefus Pitch Space Ball 73 All-Star playing pro baseball wont make you richer Bill The Spaceman The Spaceman - wooooooo hooo!!!! You should enter a ballpark the way you enter a church wooooooo hooo!!!! Clashed with The designated gerbil The Buffalo Heads Off to the bullpen Traded at the end of 78 to the Montreal Expos Just great! Bill The Spaceman The Spaceman - wooooooo hooo!!!! You should enter a ballpark the way you enter a church wooooooo hooo!!!! Woo Hoo Wooo hoo Woo Hoo Hey Hey A man of principle when they Scott go he walked out in protest was the end of the show 119 Wins! 713 K's cosmic snowball theory HEY HEY!! Bill The Spaceman The Spaceman - wooooooo hooo!!!! You should enter a ballpark the way you enter a church wooooooo hooo!!!! You should enter a ballpark the way you enter a church. You should enter a ballpark the way you enter a church. Woo Hoo!
15.
they say the first step is the hardest step getting up off your ass the first step is the hardest step harder than the last the first step is the only step that matters in the end the hardest step is getting past the procrastination Procrastination Procrastination pro crass assation pro crass ass nation
16.
She's riding white horses Eyes, eyes as black as midnight She sees more She's aware of me She's the girl with the belladonna eyes and she's flying high, high in the sky She's the girl with the belladonna story she bores me she bored me, ignored me, scorned me she loves me she hates me I love you I hate you She's the girl with the belladonna eyes and she's flying high, high in the sky She's got a brand new outfit ever since she left the brown going down going down going down going down going down going down
17.
Rock the cradle What to do? She's baby bankrupt I steal from Peter To feed you My bills become me My wallet's flat When you left me You left me that Everything I spent for you Now I'm stuck what do I do? Now you're free, your life is good I steal from Peter to buy my food Baby bankrupt She's come to get me Baby bankrupt I steal from Peter To feed me Tried to work it I owe more than I make She's baby bankrupt She's come back to take Everything I spent for you Now I'm stuck what do I do? Now you're free your life is good I steal from Peter to buy my food Baby bankrupt She's come to get me I steal from Peter To feed me Baby bankrupt
18.
Solar Winds Blew Across my face I was taken to a better place I was tripping on Mercury It was Venus who tickled my fancy Scorpio Cancer Virgo Moon That's my vital information Look up at the twinkling stars To see my certain constellation Fortune Cookie I'm a dragon Horoscope and Tarot Nation too To see my Chinese constellation You gotta wait until the new moon Scorpio dark and secret type cast Mysterious, distant this is true I'll write you a poem if you promise not to read it tonight read it tonight Came by 5 times in 18 hours hours I'll come again if you want me too I wrote you a scribbled note but I haven't delivered it yet delivered it yet Ursa Major Ursa Minor I cannot bear to be near you Virgo wants a piece of cake And Cancer wants to care for you Mars is my planet but I haven't made my mind up if Wanna go yet Scorpio Cancer Virgo Moon That's my vital information Look up at the twinkling stars To see my certain constellation Fortune Cookie I'm a dragon Horoscope and Tarot Nation too To see my Chinese constellation You gotta wait until the new moon Solar Winds Blew Across my face I was taken to a better place I was tripping on Mercury It was Venus who tickled my fancy It was Venus who tickled my fancy It was Venus who tickled my fancy
19.
None
20.
Elbows 01:58
Works all night and sleeps all day Elbows, she's okay She likes Cheerios and no one knows sleeps all day and works all night Elbows, she's all right She works where she goes and no one knows Do you wanna have some fun tonight? Shadows working underneath the lights

about

This is a greatest hits compilation curated by Jonathan Aronson consisting of his favorite song off of each of the 20 Dirty Melissa album releases.

credits

released December 2, 2022

Jonathan Aronson - All Music, Lyrics, Guitars, Bass, Keys, Vox, Noises...
Drum Machine- Drums

Except "A Nurse Named Vaxene" -
Jonathan Aronson - All Music, Lyrics, Vox, Guitars, Bass
Kellii Scott (Failure, Blinker the Star) - Drums
Paul Abrelat (Soogs) - Mixing Engineer

The Cover art / Dirty Melissa logo was lifted from an open source public business card template book in a Kinko's in Oakland California in 2000 and altered for originality

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Dirty Melissa Auburn, California

Jonathan Aronson a.k.a. Dirty Melissa

Topical Lounge Metal Social Commentary Advice-Rock Show Tunes and Dinner Theater Punk

Methodology? Analog multitrack and plodding drum machine, usually one take recordings. Errors and all.
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